A short play based on the two flash pieces "Nanny Knows Best" and "Nanny Knows Best - Epilogue" (both of which can be found in my second collection, Nanny Knows Best), has been shortlisted by Broken Arts Entertainment's Future Audio Fiction podcast. This apparently means it is now in the Top 50 out of more than 250 entries.
Finalists will be announced by the end of next week.
As part of a promotional push for Nanny Knows Best, "Going Postal" is publishing the top and tail stories of the collection - the "Nanny Knows Best" prologue and epilogue, with the epilogue being published tonight.
As part of a promotional push for Nanny Knows Best, "Going Postal" is publishing the top and tail stories of the collection - the "Nanny Knows Best" prologue and epilogue, with the prologue being published tonight.
It's finally out! From Hybrid Sequence Media comes my second collection, Nanny Knows Best. Featuring stories previously published in the likes of Bizarro Central, Trembling With Fear, Horror Sleaze Trash, The Bumper Book of British Bizarro, decomP, Ellipsis, The Ginger Collect, Reflex and The Wild Word, Nanny Knows Best is a full collection of my shorter/flash fiction to date. Over 26 published stories condensed into its tight 111 pages!
My second collection "Nanny Knows Best" is out on March 20th from Hybrid Sequence Media. Available today is the two story taster from Godless, "Gimp World/Porno Park." For $0.50, who could ask for more?
Finally got the provisional final designs through from Alexi K . Just got to get it all cleared by the publisher and we should all be set.
Personally, I'm really happy with it. Love the NHS iconography - I suspect that will have an air of sinister horror in years to come that is suitably fitting for a collection of absurdist/Bizarro horror fiction.
Just received a copy of The Bumper Book of British Bizarro featuring my story "Nanny Knows Best" (The Epilogue, not the Prologue of the same name which was published by The Wild Word). I haven't had a chance to read any of the other stories yet but it looks like an interesting mix of poems, flash fiction, short stories, comic strips and visual art.
The anthology is available from Amazon here in both paperback and Kindle formats.
It's been a quiet few months (for obvious reasons). I've been continuing to work throughout the pandemic but as I've been conducting my one-to-one tutorials online, I've found I've been working even harder than before! While I haven't had a two hour daily commute to deal with, student attendance has been 100% and I've also been doing more work by email, in addition to the sessions (which I don't normally do when I'm in a physical office), so the time and energy needed to write has been severely limited.
So mainly, my efforts have been directed towards sending out completed pieces for publication and I haven't written anything new for a while. I'm normally on holiday at this time of year but as the University extended a lot of assignment deadlines from mid-May to the beginning of July, I'm still working two days a week. Hardly a massive imposition but a bit annoying and interfering somewhat with my usual Summer writing schedule. Also, with a recent acceptance I am now completely out of previously finished stories, so I have to write something new...
In addition to "The Creative Game" being republished by FlashFlood as part of National Flash Fiction Day at the weekend, I have just received an acceptance for a flash story called "The Hole in the Wall" by The Cabinet of Heed. This should hopefully be published at some point in July.
I have the flash epilogue to a story called "Nanny Knows Best" published by The Bumper Book of British Bizarro published in late July, too. This is the final story in my upcoming flash collection and the only one that has been, as yet, unpublished.
Then finally, I have that collection of flash fiction, This Septic Isle - technically my second collection of short fiction - published by Nihilism Revised in September.
So, quite a lot coming up and quite a lot to look forward to. But, yes - I really need to take advantage of this Summer to get some new work written and some older work polished and revised.
"Nanny Knows Best" has just been published in Issue 22 of The Wild Word magazine, their 'Future' issue. "Nanny Knows Best" is the first story to appear in my upcoming second collection, State of the Nation, and it was originally conceived as a framing story for it. (I did a similar thing with the Ugly Stories for Beautiful People, when I used "BobandJane" as a top-and-tail to the entire collection. I've always liked that device, going way back to when I first read various Bradbury anthologies such as The Illustrated Man, so I was keen to duplicate that, if I could, and I've been lucky enough to manage that twice now).
So anyway, please visit The Wild Word and I hope you enjoy "Nanny Knows Best."
As I pointed out here, I've long been a fan of collections of short stories that not only have interlinking themes, plots and characters but which are also "top-and-tailed" by an interlinking prologue and epilogue.
Last year I wrote "Nanny Knows Best", a short story which I knew would act as a prologue for the State of the Nation collection (see reading, below). This has since been broadcast on Dave Reeves' Radio Wildfire spoken word show.
This Summer, I finally got round to writing the Epilogue, the tail of the collection, if you will. I had a vague idea of what I wanted to accomplish with this but a final definitive story just wouldn't come. For a long time, as the story is a critique of the Nanny State and overbearing Public sector, I toyed with doing a variant of the following joke, with Nanny being the narrator:
"I'm
tired. For a couple of years I've been blaming it on iron poor blood, lack of
vitamins, dieting and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out it ain't
that. I'm tired because I'm overworked.
The population of USA is 237 million. 104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work. There are 85 million in school, which
leave 48 million to do the work. Of this there are 29 million employed by the
federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City
Government and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work. Now,
there are 11,998 people in Prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
Boy Oh Boy. And you're sitting there reading this. No wonder I'm tired, I'm the
only one working."
However, I just couldn't think of a way of making that work, even within the confines of a satire, so nothing came of it. I finally worked out what it needed to do by simply going back to basics and thinking, "What exactly am I satirising here? What am I criticising?" And that's when the final story came to me and then came out, fully-formed, in one writing session. While this doesn't happen very often, these are always the best stories, in my eyes.
Anyway, without further ado, please see "Nanny Knows Best - Epilogue", the final, concluding story to the State of the Nation collection:
“Nanny Knows Best - Epilogue”
“What we have here,” Nanny said to the
Judge, “is a blatant disregard for law and all social etiquette.” He wagged his finger at the defendant. “This Client has gone out of his way to break
the Abolition of Death Act time and
time again.”
Nanny paced the Court-room and addressed
the twelve Clients who sat in their padded, slightly ululating Chairs™, some
farting and dozing, others gurgling contentedly as their IV drips slowly fed
them sedatives and perfectly balanced Liqui-Meal™.
“As a society we have made great strides
in Public Health. Our forbears consigned
the Social Evils of smoking, drinking and obesity to the history books. Exercise has been prescribed and perfect
nutrition implemented. The emotional stressors
of social inequality - jealousy, envy, despair – have been eliminated. The negative health impact vectors of personal
desire, personal responsibility and indeed any kind of emotional inner life
have been removed. And all at the cost
of only a hundred trillion pounds, a bargain at half the price I am sure we would
all agree.”
The Nannies murmured their assent as one
of the Clients shrieked in delight when a fly landed on his nose and he clumsily
pawed at it with meaty fingers. There
was a beeping noise as a sensor in his Chair™ detected the secretion of dangerous
levels of adrenaline and serotonin in his bloodstream and an automated plunger
squeezed down in a syringe and he was settled.
“Yet this
Client, despite all these breakthroughs in Public Health, stubbornly and
obstinately refuses to obey the law!” He
pointed at the defendant, his stiff, pale body wedged into the dock in such a
way that it would not collapse onto the floor.
“It was found that the Client had acted in
a way inconsistent with the Abolition of
Death Act in October of last year.As is customary in such cases the Client
was issued with a Cessation of Behaviour Notice and warned about the dangerous
and anti-social aspects of his actions.
However, despite this, when the Client’s Nanny returned to his Home™ the
following day, he found that the Client was continuing to indulge in risky and
anti-social behaviours contrary to life.”
An usher, discretely stepped forward to
swat some of the flies that were gathering around the ripe-smelling corpse.
“At this point his Nanny had no choice but
to distribute “I like being alive!”™ stickers around the Client’s Home™. Recent research has determined that these
stickers have a 95% success rate in preventing death addicts from succumbing to
previously ingrained, personally destructive behaviours, such as lacking
life. So of course you can imagine his
Nanny’s sheer horror to discover that, on his next visit, the Client was
continuing to insist on being dead.”
Not being sat in the thermostatically
moderated environment of a Chair™, the defendant’s body had started to bloat in
the summer heat and it jerked noisily in the dock as its abdomen swelled, his
head lolling grotesquely to the side.
“However, never let it be said that the
role of the Ministry is to persecute the dead.
Rather it is to prevent death.
So, the Client was then given another opportunity to moderate his
behaviour by attending a half-day Life Awareness session. His Nanny at the session reports that he
was…. Nanny flicked through some papers
as he tried to find the correct quote from the report. ““….Quiet, attentive and clearly reflecting
on the experience.”” He closed the
papers and turned to the Judge. “But yet
again, when his Nanny visited him the following day he was continuing to act in
contravention of the Law and stubbornly refusing to live.”
The defendant stared at him with milky,
unseeing eyes.
“Milord, I contend that this Client should
face the full sanctions available to this court. His refusal to even mount a defence of his
actions surely only adds to his obvious guilt.”
Nanny sat down as the Judge considered the
case before him. One of the Clients
gurgled and slapped his thighs, a line of drool slowly dripping from his chin. The judge nodded, coughed and turned to the
accused. “It seems that the judgement of
this court is that the defendant’s wilful obstinacy in maintaining outdated
behaviours and his continuing refusal to act in a manner befitting a
progressive society are both obvious and somewhat foul-smelling. It is therefore the decision of this court
that the defendant is found guilty, final sentencing to be undertaken in a
fortnight.”
The judge struck his gavel and shuffled
from the courtroom as the defendant was dragged from the Court, leaving a
slime-trail of putrefying flesh behind him.
Other Nannies murmured their approval and gathered around Nanny, congratulating
him.
And as they shook his hand and slapped his
back and exclaimed “Well done!” and “That’ll teach him!”, Nanny could only feel
great pride in his work. For decades his
forebears had struggled with keeping their Clients safe from themselves and
their own unfathomable behaviour. Yet despite
the taxes and bans and media propaganda nothing had really worked. Until the Abolition
of Death Act.
Yes, statistics from the Ministry demonstrated
that there was a 100% successful conviction rate for contravening the Act,
clear and quantifiable evidence of its undeniable success.
Nanny smiled and walked down the
Courthouse steps, eager to continue his important work.
As is often the case, I've been drowning in work for the last couple of months (money-work, not the good kind), so my creative output has dropped to nil. The ol' bank account is swelling impressively, which of course is always better than the alternative, but it's still frustrating to have no time to do anything creative, especially after experiencing a nice little upsurge during the summer.
However, the last of the summer's flash-fiction pieces, part of my initial experimentation with readings that make use of multi-track recording and sound effects, will be read on Radio Wildfire's 2nd November broadcast from 8pm to 10pm (UK time).
The piece is "Nanny Know Best," the opening story that, like "BobandJane" in The Ugly Stories, acts as a top-and-tail to the whole collection.
Tune in and let show host and editor, Dave Reeves, know what you think.
I've really enjoyed doing these, though. Not just writing the actual stories which I was pleased to see come together with very little effort, but also with the final results of the recordings (even if I was somewhat limited by a poor quality mic and royalty-free music and SFX). It has got me fired up to do more live readings although, as is always the case, finding the time to fit such activities in around my current work load will undoubtedly be tricky.
Anyway, readers of this blog can hear "Nanny Knows Best" on YouTube, right here, right now. The link was in my last post but just in case you came across this post from a random Google search, you can find the reading here.
"Burr's stories are hard to categorize, as they're not strictly horror or fantasy per se. However, all are imbued with a dark flood of macabre images that continue to disturb and haunt long after reading. The stories carry a core psychological reality (even the more surreal), layered with pathos and fatalism wrapped in punkish sensibilities. Each narrative in Ugly Stories feels like a complete and nuanced world inhabited by isolated souls walking a dark, lonely road.As difficult and uncomfortable as it is to see ourselves sometimes in the darker aspects and recesses of art and literature, we are somehow compelled to stare into that abyss. Burr's collection just happens to make it all worth the pain."
Read this review in full at THE HARROW.Garvan Giltinan, The Harrow
"This is a collection of short stories that steadfastly refuses to be shoehorned into any genre niche, though those who enjoy horror will assuredly find much of what they like within its pages. If you pinned me down and asked for a writer James Burr is similar to, my answer would be Russell Hoban, though even that may be stretching a point, with perhaps a hint of the early Vonnegut. These stories are not ugly, though they often touch on aspects of life that are, and you don't need to have model girl/boy looks to read them, just an open mind and a willingness to embrace a young writer whose work is that little bit off the wall, but refreshingly so."Peter Tennant, Peter Tennant's Case Notes, BLACK STATIC.
Burr is not merely a "new" voice, he is a fresh voice – a different and disturbing voice - and one deserving of your attention. His work is not easily categorized, which may, or may not, be a good thing. There are certainly horrific elements to Mr. Burr's fiction, but also what can be more readily described as "dark fantasy" and even, perhaps "Bizarro" fiction. .....There is also a dry, sardonic, and often satirical humor running through much of the stories in the book. The stories in this collection worked, for me, because they were not merely "different," but because they truly were disturbing to me, as a reader, and many of the stories stayed with me long after I'd finished reading it. Be forewarned - these stories ....... require, perhaps, a bit more effort on the part of a reader; but those looking for something a bit different and challenging, will be handsomely rewarded. This book is highly recommended.
Read this review in full at HorrorworldNorm Rubenstein, HORRORWORLD
"Ugly Stories for Beautiful People feels like a book in its own little world. I don't mean to suggest that its stories never joined the party – a glance at the list of previous publication credits will reveal that they did – but there is a certain sense that this book stands to one side, that it's doing its own thing, as it were. The collection begins and ends with a story called BobandJane and its postscript, about a couple who are so very much in love (Burr's prose conveys this superbly) that, yes, they don't perceive reality as it is – and, at the very end, their bubble may just be starting to burst. Not just a neat story, it serves as a summation of the whole book, a book which covers a range of human emotion, precarious relationships and equally precarious realities (and there may not be much difference between the two); and whose intriguing constituent parts form a complete, intriguing entity."
Read this review in full at WHISPERS OF WICKEDNESS.David Hebblethwaite, WHISPERS OF WICKEDNESS
"This reviewer has read countless collections of fiction, in many genres, many eras. That being said, Ugly Stories has got to be one of the oddest. That could be a negative, yet in this case, Burr's strong imagination and plaintive, yet very effective prose manages to pull it off. Odd, unique, very cool, and extremely readable, this collection is recommended for anyone looking for something different - or for one of us who isn't one of the beautiful people!"
Read this review in full at Hellnotes.David Simms, HELLNOTES
"It's always a pleasure to find an anthology that's well written and unique and that strikes a chord long after turning the final page. Ugly Stories For Beautiful People is just such a collection.These loosely linked stories begin with Bob and Jane, A Fable in Two Distinct Parts, about a couple whose adoration for each other is all-consuming. Foetal Attraction is deftly narrated by a pregnancy kit that wants nothing more than to deliver the happy news of impending motherhood to its rather unsavory owner. In The Dada Relationship Police, a man discovers that a shadowy group seems to know every aspect of his life and his relationships. In The Byronic Man, a man must decide how far he'll go to make himself attractive to the opposite sex. Burr takes a satirical look at what could happen when humans' proclivity for pretentiousness suddenly runs amok in It. And in the "postscript" story, Bob and Jane make a final disconcerting discovery…From the darkly twisted, to humorous to stories filled with illuminating social commentary, Burr's innovative speculative fiction is an insightful, and sometimes disturbing exploration of the human psyche. Read Ugly Stories For Beautiful People in its entirety for its full effect -- James Burr's work exemplifies what a well crafted short story is all about." Rating -- 3 out of 3 books
"Burr brings to life an almost zoological variety of characters, a sweeping menagerie of insipid drug dens, high art soirees, faltering romances, madness, and the ever-present reggae. Burr convincingly weaves together the various societal strata of London and Barcelona from beggar to bureaucrat, acid-head to activist, and brings them to life to co-exist side by side in the same heartbroken, disillusioned universe.Ultimately, Burr's view alternates between the sentimental bitterness of failed romance and a sweeping image of modern life in all its sickness and beauty. Burr's writing, like his characters and his world, fluctuates from the simple to the complex, from the vulgar to the sublime. It is as if Burr cannot decide whether he wants to indict society or glamorize it.And because that's the point, Ugly Stories for Beautiful People is worth a read."
"And when the pages finish sucking you in so you can raise a stained face, you'll be grateful such beautiful stories exist for such ugly people, the poor saps."
These stories offer a wry sideways look at modern life and culture, twisting and turning the quirks of everyday life into something recognisable and yet entirely odd - like a caricature, perhaps. There are common themes: is what we call reality really real? How can our own minds fool us? Can simple statements and thoughts help use see the true reality from within our mindless everyday haze? There is also an obsession with relationships - and specifically what happens when they come to an end.....Ugly Stories for Beautiful People is a good collection of entertaining speculative fiction, which I would recommend without reservation. "
The most interesting thing about James Burr's stories, in my mind, is the use he makes of urban fantasy. In Burr's stories, the mundane creates the fantastical. When a real-life issue is loaded enough, when the mundane pressure grows and grows, then reality will twist and expand, and the impossible will occur. What Burr really pulls off well, then, is resonance. His stories are powerful because they are about pain, conflict, and emotions, and he tries to pick the ones that will be so powerful the reader will believe they are strong enough to warp reality. The impossible happens because the characters desperately want it to—and so Burr grants their wish. The bleak, depressing nature of these stories shows us full well how much confidence Burr places in humanity's desperate desires."
Ziv Wities, THE FIX
"Burr's short stories defy categorization. The stories vary in length and range in type from a tale told from the point of view of a pregnancy stick to the story of two people who are so in love with each other that they literally become one. The format of the book is also unusual. It has no table of contents, and the stories just sort of flow into each other. If there is a theme to the collection, it is about how the characters' perceptions prevent them from seeing the reality around them. Burr is a talented storyteller with an impressive imagination. His stories will be appreciated by readers of horror, bizarro fiction, and those who just like good writing. Recommended."
"The majority of the book is brilliantly written, with the basis for many of the stories involving relationships between wives/husbands, boyfriends/girlfriends, people/drugs, that range from the perverse (BOBANDJANE) to the bittersweet (Ménage Á Beaucoup). My personal favourite is probably ‘Life Is What You Make It’, involving as it does a woman dealing with grief in such a bizarre way that she’s fundamentally altered the structure of reality. [...] It might not be too bold to say the world needs more writers with fresh and weird ideas, and James Burr falls firmly into that camp."
"This collection could just as easily have been called Ugly Stories For Unsettling Contented People, for to enter the world of James Burr is to step into a region where reality is fluid and to be happy, or at least settled, is to be in incomplete possession of the facts. Once you enter, reality fractures in surprising and innocuous places. It was the shortest tales which for me had the greatest impact -- the delusions and, ultimately, kindness revealed in Mutton Pie; the pace and linguistic inventiveness of The Byronic Man; and best of all from this collection, It, which is a gem of a story, at once hilarious and horrific, a story which leaves you envying the author its premise while admiring the perfect balance with which that premise is developed. The best test of such a collection is the success with which the author inveigles you into their world. In this case, I finished the book in the food court of a shopping mall, put it down, looked around me, and waited for the cracks to show. "
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